README.TXT

note to self
stop pretending this is documentation
it isnt

this is just where the thoughts go
because if they stay in my head
i start rewriting templates in my sleep
and that never ends well

ok
context
not that anyone is reading this
but still

the forum is fine
the forum is actually great
thats the problem

every time it works
it creates ideas

ideas create features
features create work
work creates more ideas

repeat until heat death of the universe

i was hired to make a forum
i made a forum
then amber looked at it
and instead of saying
“nice forum”
she said
“what if it could do more”

never
in my life
have those words led anywhere peaceful

rooms
public tangles
pic fights
the underground
alphas

every time i think
ok this is it
this is the line
we are done now

she goes
“what if it just”
and then waits
because she already knows the answer

the answer is always
yes
followed by a sigh
followed by coffee
followed by several hours of staring
like picard at a viewscreen
wondering how this became his life

sometimes i think
i should just go work for
free catfight forums

straight default theme
no custom anything
no ideas
no ambition
no joy

just beige
endless beige
like the opening scene of life of brian
but without the singing

and then i imagine it
and i last about twelve seconds
before wanting to flip a table

because the truth is
this is better

this is harder
this is louder
this is messier

but its alive

and yes
it takes forever
and yes
there are days where i wonder
if i should have become a park ranger
or one of those guys who repairs old pinball machines
and never has to think about php again

but then something works
or someone reacts
or a new idea lands
and i remember why im still here

this desktop exists because
sometimes i need to step sideways
away from the noise
away from the forum
away from the endless tabs

this is mine
this is quiet
this is where the thinking happens

if nobody ever sees this
good
that means it did its job

ok
back to it
one more thing
then sleep
probably

— larry